How to not to be an asshole

Habib Al Hakim
3 min readJan 20, 2022

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We live in a world where it’s easy to access information on the internet, almost all Indonesians are actively using Social Media, I don’t know the exact number and i’m too lazy to find out.

Illustration by me

Facebook, Instagram, Tiktok, Twitter, and Whatsapp, the platforms most frequently used by Indonesians.

What I want to talk about here is the bad effect of Social Media on people in crisis age, call it the quarter life crisis. At that age we are really required to be very independent, we also start to see our friends go their own way in life, some are successful, some are mediocre.

Of course we always want to succeed as quickly as possible, but the reality is different, there are so many success factors that we cannot control. These factors could be luck, education, family, domicile, economy, and so on. For example, there is someone who cannot work at his dream company in Jakarta, because he has to take care of his sick parents at home. That’s the reality, we have to be more empathetic.

Picture from Unsplash

Back again to Social Media guys, there we have easy access to share our activities and thoughts, we can share good and bad things, we can even become a new self. We must be aware that everything we share will be seen and read by our followers who are real humans in real life, these humans also have minds and hearts, it could be our friends who live well, it could also be our friends who are less lucky in his life.

I want to share my understanding, sometimes when we share posts or show off about our success, there are other humans who may feel inferior. Is showing off the wrong thing? Sometimes it’s not wrong, but sometimes it’s also wrong if it’s too much and at the wrong moment. I know we are not responsible for other people’s feelings, but it would be much better if we were more empathetic.

“Too much” is like showing off monthly or seasonal earnings to people who don’t have a job or whose salaries are small, showing off savings to people who are bearing family debts, showing off their ability to buy property and luxury goods to people who only have enough money for food, and so on. The fact is that many of our friends are struggling.

Picture from Sutterstock

I know that it is a positive achievement, but not everyone has the mental enough to see the achievements of others, many quarter life crisis people are not mentally enough to see it, many people are also suffering due to the effects of the pandemic.

Showing off is like fire, it can warm, it can also burn, therefore we need to be very careful, show off to the right person and at the right moment. Sometimes we just need to humble ourselves. At least we are not the reason someone feels down in their life.

I’m not a religious person, but I found a very good message from one of the figures in Islam. Ali bin Abi Talib once said as follows:

  1. Don’t talk about your wealth in front of poor people
  2. Don’t talk about your health in front of sick people
  3. Don’t talk about your strength in front of weak people
  4. Don’t talk about your happiness in front of sad people
  5. Don’t talk about your children to people who don’t have kids
  6. Don’t talk about your parents to the orphans

This is the wisest writing I’ve ever written in 2022, I also still often show off on Social Media, but I’m trying to reduce it a little bit, I want my fire to warm the right people.

I’m still trying not to be an asshole.

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Habib Al Hakim
Habib Al Hakim

Written by Habib Al Hakim

MAKER — Thoughts and feelings are always anomalies, through a sentence they live longer

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